I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
