people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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