at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
