Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
