If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
