in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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