The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
