I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
