Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
