the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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