I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
