it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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