Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
