Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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