Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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