Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
