i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
