I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
