dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
