so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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