My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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