the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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