i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
high people should be assigned attendants
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
