she sounds like chewbacca in bed
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
