Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
