apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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