his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
