no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
