Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
