I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
