Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
