brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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