Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
