You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
