I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
