Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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