who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
