honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
