that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
