Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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