it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
