Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
