whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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