She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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