i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
