You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
