How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
