I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
