I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
