Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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