do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Semen is not good for contacts.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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