i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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