filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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